YOU ARE THE VICTIM OF YOUR OWN ANGER
NARCISSIST BLUES:
It is simple, obvious and impossible to deny that Narcissists occupy the lowest rung on the ladder by any measure in civilized society, especially because they present otherwise, their false selves having taken over from what must be kept out of sight. Like robots in science fiction movies that look and act just like humans.
There is much that just lays there that could so easily be cleaned up with some simple conversation. These points of the recent past that occupied all that time, would have been remedied in less than 5 minutes if we still knew how to communicate.
Your ignoring that and seemingly being afraid of conversation ( though I know you are not)is very odd and of course not productive. I would argue less than not productive as the inefficiency, the attitude causes me to become angry, unhappy, you know what I mean, that shit mood only a Narc can bring, those moods that never age well they just fade. All that does is slow things further, already you take endless days to answer any question or offer opinion or is that too optimistic as half the time you withhold just because you know I hate that. It takes a long time and I bet for some never to realize those dark days that string together, that offer no reward that cause you to break and cave in, they win, again. Once you figure out those dark days were terrible for you but familiar and you assembled some theories that seem to be dead on. They loved every minute of it, you may have viewed her from a distance or heard her on the phone, what is she so damn happy about or my favorite when your way down the rabbit hole getting the shit kicked out of you and their it is, that quirky little Pirate smile out of one side of her face as she tries to hide the pleasure your pain is feeding her.
You already understand this and how it makes you crazy which is the only available reason why she does it. Yet you do nothing.
It may trouble you at the moment so that works for her but you fail to understand what it says about you in forming any kind opinion of yourself . Ever wonder and think how much fun it would be if everyone you know was exposed to the real her? What’s kind of funny is you don’t stop and think like a human might, they only like fake you, that’s all you get, but it’s all you want, nobody likes real you, not even you! I must say though I have had some fun the last time our Jezebell came out to play. I swear the worst words at her and tell her she is ugly and for that moment or so before the rage kicks in she is speechless and powerless, full on loser or so I keep telling her.
Hurting me offers you a reward for only as long as the infliction may last and I suppose any consequences from it if it was one of your more complicated plans.You can demonstrate no cause, point your finger or make any declaration that may provide you some moral right to attack but your the only one who doesn’t know that. To look back on these moments in the future it becomes and shows you as the inflictor of your dark whims and as much as you will hate the thought I have long been and remain your victim. You have no excuse available to civilized cultured society that allows for your un relenting un yielding efforts to cause any and all varieties of pain, of anguish, of sadness, of loss and anger to be bestowed upon me, but you you will come up with something as you can walk away from no moment that you don’t presume yourself the Victor.
What I think about and keep repeating is what you do to yourself as it is you that will ware the results of your actions that will never leave you yet the pain given is gone from me as quickly as it came and I will forever occupy the high ground regardless of how you may fault me as those words still sting, poor manners, without grace, sans courtesy anything that takes the shine away to remind them what they are and they are no good. They don’t belong. Though I speak here of my own talents and prowess with giving her a taste she will still win as the better I am the harder she takes me down. But really it’s all bullshit, I don’t have those skills nor do I want them but it’s fun to imagine being the Narcs Narc!
Never have I nor would I with intent look to cause her any discomfort, to specifically look to diminish her happiness in this world is simply outside of my capabilities, or is that just a polite ending and I really meant to say I have learned to feel good learning how horrible she is.
Peter Smith
